Category: Tutti Frutti
Ingredients: 1 oz Crown Royal, 1/4 oz Creme de banana, 1/4 oz triple sec, splash cranberry, splash sweet & sour (Preparation: shake and strain)
History: In the 1700’s during the golden age of piracy Captain Hornigold Blokesmith was globally known as the most wanted pirate in the 7 Seas. He was brash, unkempt and downright unpleasant. There wasn’t a warship he wouldn’t try to sink nor a trade ship he wouldn’t plunder. Many a sailor crossed his path but historically very little was known about him. The only true history of Captain Blokesmith surfaced in his ship logs found many decades later in a hidden cave on the island of Tortola in the east Caribbean. It told of his plundering and wealth as well as his strategies and tactics for outsmarting the English, Dutch and Spanish. What was always a mystery until the logs were discovered was how he was able to continuously loot ships with seemingly little effort? The captain’s historical records would show that one of his most notable tactics was that at night he would send 2-3 of his men aboard a small skiff and secretly board his target ship. Once aboard they would slip in a fine concoction of liquors into the other men’s drinking supply. Quietly, they would slip off and return to Blokesmith. The following day Captain Blokesmith would follow behind the ship at a distance and patiently wait for the ship to start making highly erratic maneuvers. By day’s end most of the ship’s crew was downright “hammered” and instead of being capable of fighting they instead willingly surrendered. This tactic became infamously known to sailors as being “shipwrecked”. In honor of Captain Hornigold Blokesmith a drink was created on the island of Tortola and is served throughout the British Virgin islands today. It is infamously known as the “Shipwreck”. Arrr, be-weary matey!
Category: Tutti Fruiti
Ingredients: 1/2 oz coconut rum, 1/2 oz blue curacoa, 1/2 oz spiced rum, 1 oz orange juice (Preparation: shake and strain)
History: A popular shot from the 18th century. Vampire Juice was usually only consumed by the very wealthy due to the immense scarcity of the liqueur ‘blue curacoa’ which was considered a real delicacy. However, not to be outdone by their affluent counterparts, the less fortunate did find an alternative. Legend has it that the commoners believed this rare liqueur was running through their veins. With this in mind, while standing on one’s head a small tube would be inserted into the most prominent (or “most blue”, as it was described back then) vein in the recipient’s neck. The remainder of the ingredients would then be shot through the tube resulting in a rush of blood and liquor to the brain. Extremely dangerous and completely ridiculous, this practice is not encouraged today due to the increased knowledge of the human anatomy and an abundance of blue curacao.
Category: Tutti Frutti
Ingredients: 1/2 oz Jagermeister, 1/2 oz coconut rum, 1/2 oz pineapple (Preparation: shake and strain)
History: A favorite go to amongst many at bars, the Surfer on Acid gets its name from the legendary 1960’s big wave surfer, Burt “Blowhard” Beckett. “Blowhard” was known for not only for his legendary drops on some of the largest waves in the southern hemisphere but was also known for some of the largest drops of LSD on the planet. Sometimes “Blowhard” could be seen on the Venice boardwalk riding his skateboard in full wetsuit catching, what he believed, were some of the largest barrels in California, without even knowing his board had never touched the ocean. We raise a shot glass to “Blowhard” and hope his big wave “journeys” will forever be remembered with this fruity concoction.
Category: Creamy N Dreamy
Ingredients: 3/4 oz frangelico, 3/4 oz raspberry liqueur, splash cream (Preparation: shake and strain)
History: This delicious velvety, fruity concoction was named after the infamous and most decorated undercover cops of their generation, Johnny Nuts and Jimmy Berries. In case you were unaware, Brooklyn in the early 70’s was notorious for its illegal underground alcohol distilleries, which were controlled primarily by the Irish mob and Italian mafia. The rivalry was fierce with the Irish trying to corner the fru fru liqueur market with their sweet Irish cream liqueur and the Italians responding by pushing their sweet almond flavored counterpart. The battle for liquor supremacy was immense and the struggle for outright dominance of such a lucrative market, had gone from alleyway brawls, to gun fights spilling out onto the streets. Thousands were being massacred and the authorities had no choice but to step in. Alas, in stepped Johnny Nuts and Jimmy Berries. Nuts and Berries formerly majored in linguistics and also had a background in make-up artistry before joining the force, so infiltrating the groups with their truly genius disguises and near perfect Irish and Italian accents was a simple task. And in just 3 short years of intense undercover work, the decorated duo had soon brought the king pins of both operations to justice. The streets were once again safe and the perpetrators, to this day, are still under lock and key. Nuts and Berries are now retired and spend their days mostly watching repeats of 70’s cop shows, who ironically many people say were actually inspired by the dynamic duo. Their name and legend will live on forever in the form of this delicious creamy and dreamy shot, Nuts and Berries.
Category: Tutti Frutti
Ingredients: 1/2 oz amaretto, 1/2 oz sloe gin, 1/2 oz Southern Comfort, splash OJ (Preparation: shake and strain)
History: In 1969 a good old boy by the name of Roscoe Hollingsworth Williams was known by southern folk as the ‘moonshine minister’. Using an abandoned church on the south east side of Bushworthy Alabama, Roscoe would distill some of the finest liquor this side of the Mississippi. He brewed vodkas and gins, scotches and bourbons. He created toasty amarettos and fruity liqueurs. There wasn’t a liquor that Roscoe didn’t perfect. Dressing up as a southern Baptist minister, roscoe would perform baptisms in the basement of the church in old copper tub full of his tasty concoctions. People would come from all over Alabama to get just a little taste of his “holy water” and Roscoe was always happy to receive their generous donations. Word got out and the local police chief Jebbediah Smithknocker decided to give Roscoe a little visit posing as a wandering soul looking for salvation. As he dipped the police chiefs head down below the distilled delight Roscoe Williams suddenly felt the clink of cuffs and was hauled off to the nearby slammer. Though he would distill no more his memory was never forgotten by the local establishments that created a drink after this infamous bootlegger behind bars called….. The Alabama Slammer.
Category: Wild n Wacky
Ingredients: 1/2 oz melon liqueur, 1 oz coconut rum, splash OJ, splash sweet n sour (Preparation: shake and strain)
History: Contrary to popular belief the very tasty Alien Urine shot was not named after a Martian with an enlarged prostate but after the notorious Mexican illegal alien, Verde Con Chervo. Mexican legend has it that Verde would smuggle large quantities of Mexican pee over the US/Mexico border and then sell it on the black market to wealthy athletes, actors and celebrities. Top athletes would drink it as they believed it gave them great strength and endurance, and the word in the Hollywood Hills was that pure Latin piss possessed miracle anti-aging qualities that made one’s complexion young and vibrant, a kind of fountain of youth if you will. In fact, a few of the very wealthy and vain celebs would actually have fountains of Mexican urine in their vast gardens in which they would frolic and bathe. But all good things must come to an end, and after many years of successful border crossings Verde was eventually apprehended and deported back to Mexico never to be allowed pass either urine or the border again. He did however amass a huge fortune and now lives the life of luxury in his native Mexico, where he owns a very successful cantina in which his shot of choice is, yes, you guessed it, his namesake, Alien Urine. The celebrities, on the other hand, in their endless search for infinite youth have resorted to plastic surgery and topical creams and ointments for firmer and more radiant looking skin.
Category: Wild N Wacky
Ingredients: 1/2 oz blue curaçao, 1/2 oz coconut rum, 1/2 oz peach schnapps, splash sweet n sour, splash 7up. (Preparation: shake and strain)
History: Named after the famous Parisian juggler, Marcel Boulez. “Blue Balls” was a favorite celebratory shot after the ever dashing Marcel’s legendary juggling performances. Unlike many of the popular ball jugglers of his time, Monsieur Boulez or Boulez “Grande” as he was fondly known by his predominantly young female audiences, would vigorously juggle his huge balls to spectacular heights as the crowd watched in awe. But the pièce de résistance was always his grand finale, as Marcel, to the great delight of the crowd would fling his huge blue balls high into the air and impale them on strategically placed spikes in the arena’s vast roof. His massive balls would then explode showering his audience with the fruity concoction we know as “Blue balls”. Unfortunately, the devilishly handsome Boulez is no longer with us. Never married and still a virgin due to his strict religious beliefs, the former juggler extraordinaire passed away in his favorite hammock, his big blue balls laying by his side. Cause of death was only reported as “stress related”.